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  I closed the refrigerator door and made a note to go out to get some water.

  “That was nice of you.” I heard my sister let out.

  My eyes turned to her. I saw her looking at me with her warm brown eyes. She had cut her dark hair into layers that fell just to her shoulders and it helped shape her heart shape face.

  Her pale skin glowed under the lights as I stared at her with a shy smile on my lips.

  “Sorry, I am just angry.” I said to her.

  My sister, Mary, wasn’t that much older than me, only six years, and she was already married with two children. Something our mother had argued about these past years.

  Mary hadn’t gone to college. She had just married her high school sweetheart as soon as she graduated, much to our parents’ dismay. But six years, one almost five year old daughter, Luria, and a newborn boy, Dave JR, later they were still happily married. Mary was going to go to college just as soon as her husband Dave was done with getting his degree.

  Even with knowing this our mom still would not let it go. They had been arguing ever since Mary had said she was going to marry Dave and, even with Mary being happy with Dave, our mom still didn’t like that my sister had married so young and didn’t go to college.

  My sister had always been the beautiful and smart one out of the two of us. I had just gotten the leftovers. Mary had gotten a scholarship to Harvard, but had passed so that she could be with Dave, who, to my knowledge, had told her to go. But stubbornness runs high in our family, I thought. It was even higher with the women.

  “So tell me what are you upset about?” She asked as she looked at me with true concern on her face.

  I grinned. Even with my sister having a family of her own she still was the best sister in the world. I loved her so much for it.

  “I don’t really feel like going into it.” I told her knowing that I was soon going to tell Angelica all about it.

  “Are you sure sweetie?” She asked.

  “Yeah, did mom make anything to eat?”

  “No, but I cooked. I left you something in the oven.”

  I smiled happily since I didn’t have to eat our mom food. She wasn’t at all the best at cooking. She liked to always try new things that even I had no idea what was in it or how to say it.

  As I made my way to the oven I started to wonder if there was something my sister wanted. I hadn’t heard her leave the room and I knew that whenever she did come over, she would always try to talk to me, but she never tried to know anything I didn’t want to tell her.

  This tended to not happen very often. I told her everything. But sometimes, if I felt it was just stupid, like about what happened with Jay, I kept it to myself.

  “What is it?” I asked, as I put the potatoes and pieces of turkey with gravy on the table. I went to the drawer to get a fork and sat down.

  My sister still hadn’t said anything and before I took a bite she opened her mouth.

  “I really don’t want to ask with you upset.” She breathed out as she watched me. I held the food in my fork but didn’t dare take a bite. “Ok can you please babysit Luria tomorrow?”

  I dropped my fork and stared at her.

  My niece was so sweet and I loved her dearly, but babysitting on a Saturday was not high on my too do list.

  “Was this food some type of ‘if you want to eat you better help me’?” I asked as I folded my arms. I smiled, knowing my sister would never do that.

  “No, I can get someone to watch Junior, but I can’t get anyone to watch her.” My sister said as she shook her head. “You know how she likes to get into everything, so dad said he can watch Junior since he is pretty much quiet.”

  I frowned. Luria did get into everything. Ever since her long legs became able to walk she allowed them the take her everywhere she wanted to go.

  “Okay Mary, if you can get mom and dad to let me go out tonight, I’ll watch her tomorrow.” I smiled, knowing that maybe with my sister’s help our over protective parents would allow me to have a life just this once.

  “Bonnie I can try.” She said as if she knew that maybe whatever her plans where for tomorrow where about to be put on hold.

  “That’s all I ask.”

  Mary stood there and stared at me. I knew she felt guilty about how our parents treated me. Well at least how our mom treated me.

  My sister blamed herself; because mom-dad tended to just follow her lead-made sure I didn’t have much of a life ever since Mary went off and got married, I thought as I stared into her brown eyes.

  “Dad,” I heard my sister soon yell and she gave me a smile. She walked out of the kitchen and I picked up my fork and began to eat.

  I half heartily hoped that she would get my dad to say yes. I honestly didn’t care too much if I got to go or not, but I knew that Angelica really wanted me to go.

  Something told me that dad would tell Mary that if my mom said it was ok I could go. He did tend to always do that. Part of me hoped that it would be different.

  “Hi Bonnie,” I looked up and saw mom walk into the room with Luria holding onto her hand firmly.

  When Luria’s blue eyes landed on me she smiled and ran over to me letting my mother’s hand go.

  “Aunt-t.” She yelled. “We can play now!”

  I smiled at her. I knew the only reason why she was so happy to see me was because I was the only one in this house that would play with her. Her parents where always too busy and my parents had other things to do.

  “Sorry Luria, but I going to be busy today.” I told her.

  Luria frowned and ran from the room.

  “What are you going to be doing this weekend?” My mother asked as if she had already mapped out what I was going to do.

  “I’m going to watch Luria tomorrow and me….” I couldn’t get up the nerve to ask if I could go out tonight with Angelica. She would say no, but I would tell Angelica that I did at least ask.

  That’s when my sister walked into the room, her eyes looking right at our mother then back at me. She frowned as if telling me it was up to our mother. This was something I already knew but had hoped maybe it would be different today.

  “How was your day mom?” Mary asked her and sat down in a seat next to mine.

  “Better than yours I believe.” Mom said to her as she got some coffee from off the counter.

  Mom could be so mean to Mary. I thought as I looked over at Mary who just turned her eyes from me and mom.

  “Mary, I told mom that I was watching Luria tomorrow.” I smiled and Mary turned to look at me, giving me a grateful smile.

  “Yes and I don’t like it.” Mom said then she took a sip of her coffee and shook her head. “Luria is your daughter and your sister should not be watching her. If you had waited like I told you this-“

  “Thank you, Bonnie.” Mary interrupted our mom and left the room.

  “I swear she is getting ruder by the moment.”

  “Mom, can I go over Angelica house today? She wants me to help her with our math homework.” I lied as I looked at her.

  I knew I was a bad liar-for I hated lying-but it would be the only way I could go out. I was seventeen and it was a Friday night. I should be allowed to go places and not stay at home just because my mom hated the choices my sister made and promised I wouldn’t make the same ones.

  She eyed me and shook her head.

  “When will you be back? I don’t want you to call and say you are staying over.” She said and put her cup into the sink.

  “I don’t know. Not too late.” I said and then added. “You can call me on my cell.”

  “No I’ll call you at her house.” My mom said.

  “Okay.” I knew now that I was going to have to tell Angelica this.

  I left the kitchen and went upstairs to change. I knew that I could wear my huge sweat suit over my clothes. Part of me felt so wrong for doing this, but another part of me was happy that it worked.

  My mom never allowed me to do anything only because of someone else�
��s choices she felt were wrong. Maybe I could understand more if it had been because of my choices, but not because of my sister’s.

  I sighed once I had finished putting on my clothes. I honestly felt so wrong, but this feeling wasn’t going to stop me from staying. Soon I heard my cell phone ring. Angelica’s name came up on the screen and I smiled.

  “Hi.” I said.

  “What did she say?”

  “I told her we were going to be studying at your house, so do you think one of your brothers or sisters will cover?”

  “Yeah, Max will. She owes me.” Angelica told me her voice full of happiness. “Oh and I am assuming you are going to need to change?”

  “No, I will wear what I want, but I will put some sweats over it. But could you bring me some shoes? I don’t think walking out in dress shoes is going to work.”

  “Ok.” She laughed. “I’ll be there soon. We are going to have all of those guys loving us.”

  This made me laugh. I wondered what she would have done if I hadn’t been able to go.

  “Ok. See you in a bit then.”

  After I hung up, I went down stairs with my math book in hand.

  I saw that Luria was on the conch trying to get her baby brother’s attention with making funny faces at him. My sister was holding her son as she spoke to my father and her husband, and my mother wasn’t anywhere in the room.

  “Where is mom?” I asked as I looked at dad.

  “She’s in her office, working.” My father said his brown eyes focused on me. My eyes looked over his now graying brown hair and the slight wrinkles on his face as he smiled.

  I knew my mother had said that her laugh lines and the few lines on my father face as well as the few gray pieces in their hair were due to my sister not listening to them and having them worry all the time about her.

  “She told you that I was going over to study with Angelica, right?” I asked, looking at my father.

  “Yes, but she told me to call over there to make sure you were there.” He said and looked at me. “Now, I for whatever reason don’t think you will be there.”

  “Dad….” I began trying to think about what I could say.

  “For your sister asked me earlier if you and your friend could go out.” He said looking right at me. I bit my lip at being caught in a lie. “But maybe you need to have some fun.”

  My face light up with a smile and I ran to hug him. “Thanks dad.”

  “Yes, but Bonnie, don’t lie again.” He said and I shook my head. “I know that we can be very protective, but we are that way because we love you. I feel like we can trust you, but if you lie….”

  “I won’t ever lie again.” I said. “It’s just I never get to go out unless it’s to study and even then most of the time it has to be here.”

  “I know. I’ll talk to your mother and we’ll see what we can do.” He told me with a small smile.

  My phone rang and I took it out seeing that it was Angelica. “I’ll be right I out.” I told her as I opened my phone.

  “Ok.” She replied and I hung up.

  “I will be back.” I said to everyone, racing to the door.

  I stopped at the door and took my sweats off. I looked into the mirror that hung on the wall by the front door and frowned. This was the best I was going to look. I wasn’t going to try too hard.

  After looking at myself in the mirror I then walked out of the front door, thinking that this was going to be a very uneventful night.

  Chapter 2

  Speaking to the Devil

  I ran to Angelica’s car with happiness in my eyes. I was going to be able to do something with my friend and not have to be sad if I did have fun tonight.

  As soon as I got into her car and closed the door, I sighed. I had almost forgotten why I was going with Angelica. I was leaving my house to go and see the forbidden four. And knowing that Jay would be there made my stomach turn.

  “This is going to be so nice!” Angelica yelled. “I am so happy you are coming with me.”

  “My dad is totally ok with it. He knows we are going out.” I told Angelica and watched her face look at me in shock. “Yeah I know, but he said that he was going to talk to my mom and everything.”

  “That is so cool.” Angelica laughed. “That means that we can come here every fourth Friday of every month.” I groaned at her words. “I know you don’t like them, but maybe I will get luckily and one of them will ask me out, so we won’t have to come all the time.”

  “Angelica…. I have to tell you something.” I began knowing I was about to tell her about what happened between me and Jay.

  “What?”

  “When I was going back to my car after school I ran into Jay.”

  “Oh my Jay, you can’t be serious.” She said to me trying to keep focus on the road. “What happened….tell me everything.”

  “I mean I saw him making out with some girl and he asked me if I wanted to join in.” I shivered thinking about it. “I mean he is so…so…. I don’t even know what word to use with him. I couldn’t believe he said Bonnie you want to join.”

  “I would have so joined in.” Angelica giggled. “I would have pushed that girl aside and started making out with him. She would have had to leave.”

  I just shook my head at her.

  Her eyes then glanced at me quickly.

  “He knows your name?”

  “Yeah the girl said it and then he said it.”

  “You are so lucky.” Angelica smiled.

  It took only minutes later for us to pull up at the club.

  “You think we will be able to get in?” Angelica asked as she looked over at all of the people in front of the club. She kept driving until she got to the parking lot. “Parking is ten dollars!”

  “I’ll give you half Angelica.” I said with a grin. I went into my pocket trying to get find some money.

  “That’s not the point. I thought it was free.”

  “We could always go to your house.” I said knowing I wasn’t ready to go home.

  “No, I’m going to see them.” Angelica laughed and then took the ticket a lady gave her. “I rather pay the full price myself then go home.” She parked her car in the lot. “Here are some shoes for you to wear.”

  I eyed the long heels she was handing me. Angelica knew I couldn’t walk right in high heels. She gave me a shy smile as if telling me sorry. Something told me that she wasn’t sorry at all. I just shook my head and put them on.

  We both got out and walked a few blocks-me trying to walk as fast as her without falling right on my face-Angelica seemed to want to get to the club quickly.

  When we got outside the club Angelica sighed. She was eyeing the long line of people who were trying to get in. She looked at me then back at the door.

  “You said you talked to Jay right?” She asked eyeing the door.

  “Yes?” I questioned not sure where she was going with this.

  “And he knows you name?”

  “He said my name.” I corrected her puzzled.

  “Well ok I have an idea.” She grabbed my hand then dragged me to the front of the line.

  The bouncer of the club was huge. He looked ten times the size of me or Angelica. He had on all black and these green eyes. His long curly black hair was pulled back in a ponytail. He made me scared when he looked at me with his piecing green eyes.

  “Hi, I and my friend want to get in there.” Angelica said as she smiled widely.

  “Are you on the list?” He asked his eyes going to Angelica.

  “No-“

  “Well you have to wait, just like everyone else.” He said then started to look us both up and down. “But you may get in-in about an hour or two.”

  “Well I don’t think Jay will like that.” Angelica said this as if she knew Jay on a personal level.

  “Jay Sinclair.” The bouncer said. As soon as he said his name he stopped eyeing us up and down. He looked scared; it was like he had been doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.


  “Yup, he asked me and my friend Bonnie to come meet him.” She told him her eyes looking as if she was getting annoyed.

  “Well he…. I’ll just go ask him.” The bouncer put a smile on his face as if he had caught Angelica in a lie.

  “You know what. We’ll just leave. I’ll tell him you didn’t let us in.” Angelica grabbed my hand and I looked at her hoping we didn’t get caught with this plan of hers.

  “No, I have to ask.” The bouncer said. “You don’t know how many girls come here claiming the same thing. He has never had a girl meet him here. So I have to see if you are telling the truth.”

  The other huge guys came before us and blocked our way from leaving. I was scared now. I hoped that we wouldn’t get into any trouble for this.

  “Ok.” I turned and saw the bouncer was now talking into his ear piece. “I will let them in.”

  His eyes looked at us as he opened the red line that kept us out. “I’m sorry about that. Jay said he has been waiting for you Bonnie.”

  My eyes stared at him widely and I tried to laugh it off. I didn’t know why Jay had lied and said he was waiting for me. Angelica on the other hand had a huge smirk on her face.

  “I told you.” She beamed. I wanted to tell her not to push our luck. “But don’t worry I know how some girls can be.”

  One of the huge guys that at first been in our way led us into the club. When we were really in the club I looked around smiling.

  The club was nice; even I hated to admit it to myself. I liked how it looked. The walls were covered in black paint and the lights on the ceiling where brightly bouncing off of the walls.

  “Jay will be over in a minute Ms. Bonnie.” The huge guy said as he led us through the club. We got a nice booth that had small red pillows and a red-black table. “You can sit here.”

  Angelica smiled at him and watched as the guy walked away.

  “Oh my Jay! I can’t believe we got in.” She laughed as her green eyes glowed in the dark. “I knew that it would work.”

  “How did you know? I thought he wouldn’t even remember me.” I said still not able to believe that Jay had even let us get in.